5 Things I've Learned About Moving Away From Home

Yes, we are still waiting to find out where we will be moving this summer. Meanwhile, I have had time to reflect over the last four years. I thought I would post a few things I've learned from moving away from home. Home is vague term we usually refer to New Orleans as. Many people say 'home is wherever you are' but I'd say 'home is wherever you are committed and laying roots'. We may only plant for a few years, as a military couple, but we've learned that friendships are worth fighting for, life goes on without you and that it is normal, commitment counts, how to get out of vacation mode, and do not hesitate to jump right in.

Friendships are worth fighting for.
It is very hard to stay in touch with people without being intentional. Social media kills the need to call or text a person because it leads you to feel connected through status updates and pictures. Social media is only the surface and can really be misleading. I struggle and have bad days in the midst of all really good and cheery days, but I don't usually post about them. Sometimes I do, but no one likes a social media Debbie downer. I typically try to focus my attention to the positive. That is part of why I stopped blogging in 2012/2013.

I've challenged myself to stay in touch through personal ways. I'm still kind of terrible at it but it is something I would like to continue to fight for. It's important to show people you care. I've sent cards in the mail, text messages, and called on occasion. I make it a point to call close friends for big things like 'I'm pregnant!'.The best is to pick up where you left off when you do see one another. It's the beauty of a good friendship. It's tough moving away from friends, but God has given me grace.

Life goes on without you and that is normal.
You left a community that will continue to grow and thrive without you. It always is crazy to see how everything has changed when we are visiting home (New Orleans). New stores, new restaurants, new people. Your church grows. Your friends make new friends. Your friends move. AND it is all normal. I think change and growth should be celebrated! Although it can be hard if your not connecting and creating a new normal in your new location. That's where...

Commitment counts.
When Ted & I moved to Philadelphia, we set out to make a commitment to a church community for the four years we were here. We didn't want to skip around from different churches. We wanted to commit regardless if we saw flaws, because flaws are everywhere. The first two and half years were good but not great. We battled with our decision and thought about switching a few times especially when I was working in a restaurant that I worked Wednesday nights and Sundays. (During that period, Ted continued to go faithfully to our church and on Monday nights we went to a young adults group at another church. I needed to get my fill from somewhere.) I truly believe God honored our commitment and in the last year really blessed us with deeper friendships and stronger faith.

We switched community groups a little over a year ago and it made the world of difference. Our former group was fine, but we never really connected. In our new group, we immediately started to blossom and its has been a major difference. I'm most grateful for God leading us here. I'm thankful we made this commitment to the Lord and ourselves. Stick it out.

Getting out of vacation mode.
I really struggled with this our first year or two living in Philadelphia.  I can see the slippery slope of dealing with this continually because of our frequent moves while Ted's in the military. Early on, it felt like we are on an extended vacation and at some point we would return home. This attitude can be toxic for your ability to put down roots and not develop a healthy new home. I beat vacation mode with accountability partners, getting involved in our church, and daily routines.

Do not hesitate to jump right in.
Get to know your area and don't be a hermit. This plays right along with creating a new normal. We visited a few churches before committing to ours. Going into a new place without getting offended if people do not greet you first. Instead, be proactive. Be friendly. Stay when it's awkward (ten minutes after or before event/service). When you visit a church take the initiative to approach people and introduce yourself. I promise it isn't as awkward as it may seem. This is something I did when we first moved here. I introduced myself to one girl, who in return invited us to the small group where we visited the next week (and stayed for two years). I do agree, people in church should be approaching new people, but reality is, people are busy and services don't always revolve around you.

This also is something you can do outside of church. Join a playgroup. Volunteer somewhere. Take a class. Go to the park. Pick a restaurant or coffee shop to frequent. Adopt the location as your new home.

Notes: Speaking of home, if in my dreams my home would ever been worthy, enough for someone to photograph, let alone publish, and I had to answer the design question: what do you love about home? I'd say 'What I love about my home is that it's full of personality'.