My First Year Of Motherhood Part 2

Breastfeeding Edition:

Breastfeeding was the hardest yet most rewarding thing about my first year of motherhood and continuing. The best advice I received my entire pregnancy was to read, learn, and ask other moms about breastfeeding. I had been around a handful of breastfeeding moms through work, church, or friends, but was still a little naive to the whole concept. Hands down, it takes work. Some point after the first few weeks of breastfeeding, I hit a transition. I finally wasn't worrying about problems that may occur or going insane with the ones I was hitting head on. Now one year and two months in, it's something I'm glad I didn't give up on.

Remembering back to those early days is very heart warming. It was such a bonding experience for our little family of three. The first few days of breastfeeding were somewhat of a blurr as we were riding this highly emotional and amazing roller coaster around the clock. Ted was like a hulk on latch watch which was so helpful for me. Looking back, it seems like a haze of zombies caring for our little baby. Those first few days or weeks of getting use to around the clock feedings was a tough transition mentally and physically. (You can read about some of what we experienced here.)

In the hospital, the nurses circled in and out of my room to fill my ear with unending advice. All of their advice conflicted with each swing of the door. To my surprise, I found this helpful instead of overwhelmingly confusing. Like most things in parenting, there is not a set way of doing anything. I listened and adjusted to what worked for me and Wells. When something wasn't working, I would shift to another person's pointer. Trial and error, it worked great. After a devastating transfer to the hospital during my labor, I forgot key pointers that I had read. There is so much to remember when you are cuddling your fresh babe. Thankfully, Ted helped when I needed reminders like to stimulate both breasts at each feeding before my milk came in. 

My milk came in right on time. I will never forget Wells's face all milk drunk for the first time. Weird to type now, but a beautiful experience that I will always cherish. All was going smoothly and we headed home with our fresh babe where I ended up with major engorged breasts. Severely painful and rocky. Thankfully that same day my midwife came for my house call visit. She helped me to relieve the pressure. A week later, I was still dealing with engorgement and clogged ducts. Cold, crisp cabbage wraps. Moist, warm wash cloths. Angle feeding. Submerging breasts into warm water while Ted massaged the clogged ducts. All the while, I am crying like a baby because it hurts so bad. Before we fell into this routine of unclogging the ducts, I had one round of mastitis at three weeks postpartum. I felt absolutely awful, way worse than the flu.

First few weeks review. Feeding every two hours round the clock feedings a usual 30-45 minute session. Some cluster feeding which I truly believe helped with my supply and Wells's weight gain. Leaving about a 1 hour and 15 minute break before on the book again, and at times less. Blisters. Painful letdowns. Flu-like symptoms. Feeding in front of squirmiest friends. Feeding around nosey friends. Feeding at church and in the car. Feeding, feeding, feeding. One early morning that first month, I turned to Ted in misery with no desire to feed Wells at all, even though I knew it was time and he was hungry. 'Ello Wells, my sweet baby. Mum needs a little break and sleep. Mind if I curl up in a ball in the corner with some peace and quiet.' My thoughts, but I didn't and pushed through. That's just what moms do. 

Unfortunately, I ended up having surgery at five and a half weeks postpartum and couldn't keep Wells in the hospital at night. I pumped all night and breastfed him during the day for four days. Making it through with my friends gracious and generous offer of her breast milk stash. I forever grateful and don't think I would have made it mentally if it wasn't for her sacrifice. The morning I was suppose to be discharged, I felt absolutely terrible and finally figured out that it was mastitis again. Side note, surgeons don't not know the first thing about breast feeding and are very squeamish around open breasts. Finally, I was released to go home and thankfully never pumped a day in my life ever again. Coming home from surgery, I angled Wells's chin toward any area that would seem that it was clogged. That means upside down nursing, football hold, sideways, and on hands and knees over him. My last clogged ducts was the day the first day my in-laws came in town for a visit. We were walking all around Philadelphia touring the historical sights. All I wanted to be doing was curling into a ball and cry because I didn't have the energy to fight against another clogged duct. I was so tired of the intense pain. We skipped the liberty bell and headed home, unclogged the duct, and kept on tourist-ing.

Seven weeks postpartum and finally my milk supply was regulated. My nips had toughen, goodbye blisters. From that last clogged duct forward, I haven't had any other problems with breastfeeding besides a squirmy toddler. I am so thankful I toughed it out when it was hard those first few weeks. I had heard it was hard, but didn't realize how hard it could be. Now I look back and think, it wasn't that hard because I am one year removed. Last year facing round the clock feedings, waking my sleeping through the night baby because my breasts were about to pop, mastitis, engorgement, and ton.. ..not a walk in the park by any means, but completely worth it. 

I don't pump. I have never given a bottle or washed one for Wells. He has taken a bottle with Ted and a babysitter when I still had some supply from pumping in the hospital. After that was out, we used coconut milk when needed (but only for comfort while I was away) to hold him until I was about to breastfeed. Wells is still breastfeeding throughout the day and sometimes during the night. He is efficient at feedings and it takes about five minutes. I'm confident in my supply and in my ability. It is all worth it. I don't have a date in mind that I would like to stop breastfeeding. Originally, I thought two years and that sounds about right to me still. As I've learned in motherhood, I'll adjust my expectations as needed.

Notes: Earth Moms Natural Nip Butter is miracle cream (found at Whole Foods or most food health stores). It helps with sore nipples. Use breast milk for anything, clears blemishes (on babes as well as adults), heals cuts, helps to unclog stuffy noses, and etc. I would have never made it so gracefully without the support and knowledge of my husband on breastfeeding. I had support from friends whom I would call, text, and have come over for 'HELP!' moments in breastfeeding and problems that come with. I also called my area La Leche League lactation consultant a few times (you can find your area consultants here), as well as the lactation counsultant at the birth center. Each time they would give me step by step tips to help with whatever I was facing. Those phone calls were so helpful and I would even suggest hiring a postpartum doula even if your not interested in a birth doula. I attended two breastfeeding support groups held by my birth center with Wells in tow, where woman talk about their experience, problems, and triumphs. Ted and I took a breastfeeding class with our midwife and also had education through The Bradley Method which I highly recommend. I read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (great reference when problems occur and questions come up) and Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding (more of a collection of stories of women who have breastfed).