I started this little series of posts on the topic of finding a new normal in marriage with a new baby. I shared our strides towards reclaiming date nights, Olivia shared a few things she has learned along the way, and Meg shared how her relationship has been strengthen through parenthood. I was talking with my mom friends over the weekend on this topic and something jumped out as a important question to ask and answer.
Do you feel more like a mom or wife?
I think it's natural to feel more like a mom these days as my day revolves around breast feeding, diaper changes, playtime, piles of laundry, keeping up the house, and trying to introduce Wells to the world of yummy food.
Being a mom is an honor.
Being a mom comes so natural for me.
Being a mom makes my days so bright.
Being a mom is a dream.
It could be easy to get lost in being a mom and lose my essence of being a wife. As I care for Wells as a mom, I do bless Ted as my husband. Remembering that my relationship with Ted as a wife is priority to being a mom takes a thoughtful and balanced perspective. It's easy to see that Wells relies on me for everything. He is dependent on my care; whereas Ted can fend for himself easily and successfully. I can see how easy it would be to drift from being a wife.
Being a wife takes intention.
Being a wife takes selflessness.
Being a wife should take priority.
Being a wife takes commitment.
Does your husband feel more like a dad or husband?
Ted & I are working on making each other feel like a husband and wife. It's tricky. We were discussing this and Ted realized by him giving me a break and watching Wells, it doesn't necessarily make me feel like a wife. We are working on implementing habits that prioritize our marriage relationship. I think it's vital to children to have parents that don't lose there roles of being husband and wife. A relationship full of love, sacrifice, self denial, thoughtfulness, intention, playfulness, and surprise. We don't have it figured out but are working on cultivating this idea. As we do, I'll share more.
Better Together is a mini series where I'll be featuring a few of my blog friends who are new moms. We all are figuring out what it looks like to reconnect and relate as a married couple in light of parenthood. If you would like to contribute contact me at t_varnado@hotmail.com
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